Friday, June 02, 2006

if he was here.

today, we walked all the way to khulamanch [sahidmanch] to listen to what the maoist leaders had to say. This was their first public program in Kathmandu after a long time.

Well I wanted to see what they had to say & show!!!
At the end, I wasnt impressed.. at all.

We walked the crowdy way.. most of them seemed to be villagers brought here for the participation. I dont know how much of them came here [rather than brought].

I saw the young people, may be some of them were cadres, fighters. may be some of them were the troubled people themselves.. may be.

In the meantime I remembered Sudhan. I often remember him these days, but today it became so persistent that i couldnt stop writing. We used to be so close friends, so close that i am a part of his family now.

Intelligent and friendly, friendly to the extent that we didnt count our effort or money towards each other.

I wish if he was here, if we could see the turnout together with our eyes, and not only with mine. I even wonder if we could analyze the moments when he took that way... and i why did he go without even informing me. not even me??? But I know, that he knew, if he had told me he wouldn’t be able to leave us… that I wouldn’t let him go.

But he didn’t. played a foul… such a big foul, that it took his life in the penalty. Sometimes I think he did for a good cause, because he wasn’t a violent person, not even a single percent of him. I wonder if his sacrifice would be fruitful… I only wonder… but deep inside, I don’t believe. They were showing a number of people who lost their life in this battle, the battle of brothers! I think whether that count covers my friend also or not!

I wonder if I could hear his say when he was there… I wonder… I wonder…

I miss u, and I cant explain how much, not even my words!!!

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