Monday, December 18, 2006

नया निशाना छाप

नया निशाना छाप - क्या झुर

Monday, December 11, 2006

मंसीरको पहिलो झरीमा हाइकु च्याट

आजको दिन सारै चिसो, बिहान देखि दिउसो सम्म झन चिसो बढेको जस्तो पो लाग्यो मलाइ त। यै बेला नवराजले झन हाइकु च्याट शुरु गर्यो, लौ त भनेर म पनि शुरु भए।
हाम्रो गफ गाफ जस्ताको तस्तै:
NabRaj says (11:34 AM):
हुँ यात्री यौटा
रुमल्लीएर हीड्ने
कालो रातमा
Sangharsha says (11:30 AM):
हा हा सुने सुनेको जस्तो लाग्यो नि मलाइ त । हा हा हा

चिसो मंसीर
झरीले चिसायो लौ
पानी बैमानी

Sangharsha says (11:32 AM):
चिसो हाइकु
आगो दन्काउ बरु
अझै लेखुला

NabRaj says (11:34 AM):
ha ha
ha ha
जाडो छ आज
हिजो र अस्ति भन्दा
झरी ले गर्दा

NabRaj says (11:36 AM):
हिटर त छ
अलि ठुलो छ कोठा
पुगेन तातो

Sangharsha says (11:37 AM):
कोठाको हिटर
चिसो त मनमा छ
के तताउला?

NabRaj says (11:38 AM):
घाम लुकायो
कालो कालो बादल
पानी पार्दियो

Sangharsha says (11:39 AM):
लुकेको घाम,
तिम्रो मेरो हाइकु,
चिसो न तातो

NabRaj says (11:40 AM):
tato na chharo chhai milthyo ki???

Sangharsha says (11:40 AM):
हो हो, ल तेसो भए
लुकेको घाम,
तिम्रो मेरो हाइकु,
तातो न छारो

Sangharsha says (11:47 AM):
घाम र पानी
चिसो कहिले तातो
जिन्दगानी

NabRaj says (11:50 AM):
झरीको दिन
कम्पुटर तिमी म
हाम्रो हाइकु

Sangharsha says (11:51 AM):
कम्प्युटर, तिमी, म
NabRaj says (11:52 AM):
yep
that's good

NabRaj says (12:44 PM):
ईन्टरनेट
पुर्याउने रे गाँऊ
राम्रो छ कुरा


यसबेला हामी एउटा साइट हेर्दै थियौं जसमा एकजनाको अथक प्रयासले पश्चिमान्चलको ग्रामीण भेगमा कसरी इन्टरनेट पुर्याइएको थियो भन्ने दिइएको थियो। मैले पनि अस्ति तिर यसो सोच्दै थिए : हुम्ला, कर्णाली तिर गएर ब्लगिंग गर्न पाए कस्तो हुन्थ्यो होला। त्यसकै साकार रुप हो जस्तो लाग्यो। कुन्ती मोक्तानको गीत छ नि एउटा : “मीठो माया हजुरको कहिले पाउने हो
हुम्ला जुम्ला गाडीमा कहिले जाने हो”
हुन त ठेट प्रेम गीत जस्तो लाग्छ तर यसो हेर्दा हुम्ला जुम्ला गाडिमा जाने कुरा चाहि विकाशको तृष्णाले डोराएको जस्तो लाग्यो मलाइ चाहि। प्रेयसीसंग घुम्न त जाने तर नगरकोट हैन हुम्ला जुम्ला। गजब छैन त? एकदम मीठो लाग्यो मलाई। यो गीतका अरु पंक्ति मलाइ खास याद छैन तर मेरो समग्र बुझाइ चाहि यस्तै छ।

अब फेरि हाम्रो कुराकानी मै फर्कौं
सांझ परिसक्या थ्यो
...


NabRaj said:
पाँच बज्यो त
जाने होइन घर
हिडेको म त

NabRaj says (5:26 PM):
हा हा हाइकु
अति भो, हाइकु
तिम्रो हाइकु

Sangharsha says (5:26 PM):
अब जाउ भो
पुग्यो आजलाइ त
तिम्रो हाइकु

अन्त्यमा यसो फर्केर हेर्दा एक दुई बाहेक खास राम्रो भएनछ, तैपनि गफ गर्दा गर्दै लेखेकोले निकै रमाइलो भाको थियो।
यस्तै गरि सांझमा दुर्गा दिदी संग केहिबेर कुराकानी भाको थियो, उहाले पनि हाइकु सुनाउछु भन्नु भो,
लौ त तेसो भए आजको दिन हाइकुमै समर्पित हुने भो भन्ठानें अनि एउटा जाओस भने। उंहाको लेखाइ :

"हिउदे झरि
प्रेयसिको स्पर्षले
न्यानो झै लाग्यो"

Sunday, December 10, 2006

continuation...

still late nights,
still work loads in hand,
still much to go,
still much to study,

lets hope for better tomorrow,
lets hope for better hope!
...
...
good nite!

Monday, December 04, 2006

random truth around


Masino & malo
Masino (7 years-left) and Malo (5 years-right) carry baskets full of produce that hung tied with a band on their head. They are Tamang, a low cast in Nepal. They are from second husband of their mother. “No, we don’t go to school. We have no money and mother says we must all work”
Talaku village, near famous tourist resort of Chisapani in north-east of Kathmandu, Nepal.




Shehnaz
Shehnaz's (12) father has married 3 times ad left Shehnaz and her mother 9 years ago. Now Shehnaz works with her mother all day long and between two of them they earn Taka 40 (less than 60 US cents) per day. She also has a brother. As her mother could not afford to send both of them to school, only her brother goes to master sahib (school teacher) for tuition. It cost them Taka 200 per month. Her hammer is very heavy and she knows that if she loses her concentration, she will smash her fingers.
Pagla Ghat. Narayanganj, Bangladesh.



Root for Food
This morning my daughter found this root. Thanks God. Today we will eat.

Chor Binupur in Kajla Union, Bangladesh.


The content posted here are collected from one of the
web projects that I am currently working on.
I thought I needn't go much far to know about the world...
And today morning I was going thru a book to find out this:
"Nepal is poor and is daily becoming poorer, said one report published in 1974 (ARTEP). In the late 1970s, 40 percent of the Nepali households were estimated to be living below the poverty line (Jain, 1981). Today it is estimated that over 60 percent of the households fall into this category (Shrestha, 1993). Such grim statistics of poverty have provided a cogent rationale for foreign and begging. A shameless beggar, that is what the Modern Nepali states and its ruling elite have become (Panday, 1992)"
-Rural Political Economy of Nepal, Bharat Pokharel.


So, ... where are we?

Sunday, December 03, 2006

typing...@10w/m

A: hi
B: hi ke chha?
A: fine
B: fine only?
A: ani ke chaldai chha?
B: typing @10w/m
A: LOL .. btw, only 10 wpm?
B: yes
...

excerpt from a chat i had with my friend.
well what was that? indication of a slow life? or is it slow at all?

huh!

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

my busy(i)ness



cant start... seems like sublime that i m undergoing..
getting busy, busy with work, busy with studies (exams), busy with (re)arrangements;
i think it's gonna take a while for me these days to post smthing here....

its nice though, getting too entangled, rather than left idle... demon's workplace : u know.

till i re-appear,
till i bore u once again {LOL}
enjoy!

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

नेपालवाद जिन्दावाद

देशको नयां बिहानीलाई स्वागत गरौं,
आपसी बैमनस्यतालाइ बिर्सेर - नयाँ नेपालको सिर्जना गर्न अघि बढौं,
आत्मनिर्भरताको यो सुनौलो उदाहरण हो,
यसैलाई निरन्तरता दिने हामीले आँट गरौ!

पुराना गल्ती (वा ?अपराध?) अब कागजमा लेखिने ईतिहास हैन,
हाम्रा लागि पाठ हुनुपर्छ;
भ्रष्टाचारीलाई सफाई दिने राजनीति हैन,
गरिबलाई इटा बोक्ने ढाड हुनुपर्छ!

वादको पछि नलागौं,
मार्क्सवाद, माओवाद वा समाजवाद – सबै वादहरु बकवास हुन;
अब हाम्रो एउटै वाद – नेपालवाद!
नेपालवाद जिन्दावाद, नेपालवाद जिन्दावाद!!

Monday, November 20, 2006

रुन नजान्ने म

मेरो चित्त
गत खादा खादा
मेरो चिता जलेको देखेर
म निकै रोएँ!

तन्द्राको पराकाष्ठा
मेरो बिपना
मलाई जिउंदो पाएर
म निकै रोएँ!

ढुकढुकिको चाल
स्पन्दनको ताल
मेरो स्वास सुनेर
म निकै रोएँ!

खरानीको छारो
झस्किएको आंखामा
निद्रा नलागेर
म निकै रोएँ!

Sunday, November 19, 2006

my journey towards a black hole

stone, stone, i feel stone
an unprecedented fathom
everyone, everything moving back
couldn’t know my momentum - ahead, ahead

just some flares
just flares my dear
i see around, just flares
merely flares,

enjoy, lets cherish
just a moment along
not much though
just a flare - period

i cant stay here,
can’t remain stone anymore
welcome abroad!
my journey towards a black hole

Saturday, November 18, 2006

personal void

It’s been a terrible walkthrough, I should say. Have been trying to write something since long, but finally I happened to write about why I couldn’t write (something) anything. Sounds funny. But it’s quite a puzzle for me.

Always jumbled as they come to me. I think of making up a story; a smaaaal plot in my mind, trying to elaborate - I miss it. I think of a poem, and just after the first stanza, I think that the topic doesn’t cover more than this. Now how could I present that 4 line poem? Ridiculous!
That’s why I said ‘thinking of an ocean, remembering a drop’ in one of my previous post. But I think have my realized my problem, yes to some extent, and it has to be my indulgence in multiple facets at the same time [it has to be it]. So many subjects, so many faculties, so many issues to talk about, so many manies! And on the top of that, I searched for a wholesome one like The Grand Unified Theory. How could I? Silly me!

It’s chaotic sometimes. My friend once said the most prevalent theory in this world is the chaos theory. I agree. I think I should, or at least from what I see when I see it all. Chaos rules buddy! Does this sound pessimistic? Or just a rationalization for my inability to manage things! I don’t know.

And still I can’t explain my motto here, can’t explain my search for words for a better search of the way, to better explain my search for knowledge.

After all, forget the absolute… there’s still a domain of relativity, a very persistent ideology indeed… ‘Truth is just an illusion, albeit a persistent one’ – as Einstein said. There is no any ultimate truth as Derrida said, or just like that entropy stuff in the second law of thermodynamics.
...
Everything movable, watery, flexible!

But in the meantime, let’s wrap it up. Bottom line is I have missed my Basantapur tea today, but rather had a sweet tea with a friend.


Lastly, if you have come to this point, here are some haikus.

हाइकु मलाई एकदमै मनपर्ने विधा हो, थोरै शब्द - सानो कथा - धेरै कुरा!


मेरो कविता

विचारको खडेरी
अत्यास लाग्दो

कलम चल्छ
बोल्न म जान्दिन
भाषाको खेल


यी केहि टुक्रा
विचार र कुराका
कुरैको दुख


शब्दमा खेल्ने
कस्तो ड्रामाटिक शो
म त जान्दिन

र अन्त्यमा,

चलायमान
कति चलायमान
तिम्रा नयन

Friday, November 17, 2006

Life is a highway

Life's like a road that you travel on
When there's one day here an' the next day gone
Sometimes you bend, sometimes you stand
Sometimes you turn your back to the wind

There's a world outside every darkened door
Where blues won't haunt you anymore
Where brave are free an' lovers soar
Come ride with me to the distant shore

We won't hesitate
Ta' break down the garden gate
There's not much time left today, yeahea...

Life is a highway
I wanna ride it all night long
If you're going my way
Well, I wanna drive it all night long

Through all these cities an' all these towns
It's in my blood an' it's all around
I love you now like I loved you then
This is the road an' these are the hands
From Mozambique to those Memphis nights
The Khyber Pass to Vancouver's lights

Knock me down, an' back up again
You're in my blood
I'm not a lonely man

There's no load I can't hold
Road so rough, this I know
I'll be there when the light comes in
Just tell 'em we're survivors

Life is a highway
Well, I wanna ride it all night long
If you're going my way
I wanna drive it all night long (all night long)

Life is a highway
Well, I wanna ride it all night long
If you're going my way (you're goin' my way)
I wanna drive it all night long (all night long)

There was a distance between you an' I (between you and I)
A misunderstanding once
But now we look it in the eye

There ain't no load that I can't hold
A road so rough, this I know
I'll be there when the light comes in
Tell 'em we're survivors

Life is a highway
Well, I wanna ride it all night long (all night long, yeah)
If you're goin' my way
Well, I wanna drive it all night long

Life is a highway (life is a highway)
I wanna ride it all night long
You're going my way (you're goin' my way)
I wanna drive it all night long (all night long, yeah)

Life is a highway
I wanna ride it all night long (yeah, I wanna drive it all night long, baby)
If you're goin' my way (you're goin' my way)
I wanna drive it all night long (all night long)

Life is a highway... song courtesy : 'Cars' the movie

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

welcoming new Nepal

Its all about the new beginning that we are going to experience...
new air that would bring hope
new essence that would inspire us to be brothers
new pavement that would lead us to prosperity!
its not about me and you, its about Us,
its about Nepal!

welcoming the new Nepal, however gone unnoticed elsewhere.
I remember one article in Kathmandu post where he noted how this great news went un-noticed in the world media. How britney's break up made a good news, how rumsfeld demotion made a breaking news… and yet our peace progression didn’t get a good place.

It would have definitely been a breaking news if the peace process was disrupted. They would get a good chance to talk over how it happened - live broadcasts, latest updates, blah blah.

Well, let it be.

Who cares?

It’s not about what place we got place in the media, it’s rather about what we did. And what we did was great, I should say, a great accomplishment for betterment.


I remember this song, from an animated movie, expresses the ecstasy of freedom, as I feel.
"Here I am - this is me
There's no where else on earth I'd rather be
Here I am - it's just me and you
And tonight we make our dreams come true

It's a new world - it's a new start
It's alive with the beating of young hearts
It's a new day - it's a new plan
I've been waiting for you
Here I am

Here we are - we've just begun
And after all this time - our time has come
Ya here we are - still goin' strong
Right here in the place where we belong

...

Here I am - this is me
There's no where else on earth I'd rather be
Here I am - it's just me and you
And tonight we make our dreams come true

...

Here I am - next to you
And suddenly the world is all brand new
Here I am - where I'm gonna stay
Now there's nothin standin in our way
Here I am - this is me"
- Song courtesy Brian Adams, from 'Spirit - the stallion of Cimeron'


Long Live Peace, Long Live Nepal!

Sunday, November 12, 2006

this weekend












an easy escape from the daily work...

an evening in basantapur

yesterday!

had some pretty laughs,

had some tea,

enjoyment. . . all but temporal!!!

केहि मिठो बात गर,
रात त्यसै ढल्किदै छ
भरे फेरी एकान्तमा
रुनु त - छदैछ

Friday, November 10, 2006

Breakaway

Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I'd just stare out my window
Dreaming of what could be
And if I'd end up happy
I would pray (I would pray)

Trying hard to reach out
But when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I prayed I could break away


I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I love
I'll take a risk, Take a chance, Make a change
And breakaway

Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get onboard a fast train
Travel on a jet plane, far away (I will)
And breakaway

Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging around revolving doors
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me but
Gotta keep moving on, moving on
Fly away, breakaway

I'll spread my wings
And I'll learn how to fly
Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget the place I come from
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance, Make a change,
And breakaway, breakaway, breakaway

Breakaway... song courtesy : Kelly Clarkson

[I know I am a lazy bone, as someone told me, only lazybones post lyrics in blog!]

Thursday, November 09, 2006

thinking of an ocean, remembering a drop

it has been quite a revelation in blogging since few days. I have found many backlinks to my blog from the sites which I didnt know existed, and from the geo-locations which I didnt predicted.

Thanks to you all, those who have noted, those who have visited, those who have commented.

I will be rolling ahead... I am not much of a writer... but lets see how it goes.

जादा जादै,

"लेखाइमा छरपस्टता,
बोलाइमा अकमक्कपना
छोडेर आएको थिए
पाइलाको डोब समेत

बिर्सिसकेको थिएं
किन मलाइ सम्झाउछौ
भुलेका कथा,
किन मलाइ झस्काउछौ

छरपस्टताको बीच,
मेरो परिचय

के हुनु थियो र?

के हुनु छ र?


मेरो कथा मेरो कविता

जे पि टि
मेरो ब्लग मेरो लेख
जे पि टि"


Happy Blogging!

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

फेरी सद्दामको बारेमा

अस्ति सद्दामको मृत्यदण्डको समाचार आएदेखि मलाइ केहि भन्न मन लागिराको थियो
तर के, के, छेउ न पुच्छरको जस्तो लागेर चुप बसिराको थिए।

आज अविनाशीको ब्लागमा हेर्दा, निकै समान विचार पाए,
र त्यसैले, त्यहा मैले राखेको कमेन्ट, जस्ताको तस्तै यहां राखेको छु:

सद्दाम राम्रो नराम्रो मलाइ थाहा छैन,
उसले कति मान्छे मार्यो मलाइ थाहा छैन
धेरै कुरा छन - जुन धेरैलाई थाहा छैन,
तर बुसको तेल ब्यापारको पृष्ठभुमिमा राजनीतिक कठपुतली बनेकाहरुले गरेको यो निर्णय सुन्दा मलाइ नरमाइलो लाग्यो।
बुसको बिरुद्ध डटेको आधारमा मात्रे पनि म सद्दामको पक्षमा छु (यो परिप्रेक्षमा मात्रै भएपनि)

Sunday, November 05, 2006

coming soon

i am coming soon.

i am here.
i am always here.
but i cant be found anywhere.

i am coming soon!

Friday, November 03, 2006

Thursday, November 02, 2006

just in jest

aaja nikai kaam gariyo...

nikai thakiyo....

aba ta kaam ko nasha lagyo...

nidra nai lagena...

Monday, October 30, 2006

lets have some tea

its getting colder in Kathmandu these days,

last time i saw the temperature meter in RatnaPark and it showed 19.5°C at 7.12pm!

lets go to basantapur and have some tea...

Sunday, October 29, 2006

a joke

I remembered a joke, its like, there was a guy who was very devoted & worshipped God, time passed, he continued his pursuit, ... , and apparently one day God appeared in front of him:
"So tell me what you wish?"
"Oh almighty, I want a straight bridge from here, frok Kathmandu, to New York"
"Thats pretty materialistic, kid!, why dont you ask something else, hmm.. something about knowledge ... and wisdom, something like that!"
"... I have always wondered what are girls, I want to know girls, tell me what are they actually?"
...
...
...

"Ok fine, how many lanes do you want for the bridge?"

Saturday, October 28, 2006

छठ २०६३ - पहिलोपल्ट रानीपोखरीमा































With my friend, i used to visit the Bagmati river banks for chhath celebrations in previous years, this year however, the RaniPokhari was opened for the Chhath festival for the first time and i happened to be there for a view.
It was a pretty good participation there... by the people from all races and places.

photo courtesy: www.nepalnews.com

Friday, October 27, 2006

Thursday, October 26, 2006

यसपालिको तिहार -२











































































































kids were enjoying the fireworks, while i was busy playing with the camera. I wanted to take a shot of the lights - coming out of the houses far away, but still confused - whether the camera would pick those lights or not.
Anyway i tried, and accidentally i got a blurred shot. Later i intentionally tried to make these lights move in my own way.. some obeyed some didnt! :)

I hope you had a nice time in Tihar.

Monday, October 23, 2006

यसपालीको तिहार

यसपालीको तिहार,
यसै आयो, त्यसै गयो,
अंध्यारो बत्तीको छांयामा
देउसी-भैलोको सम्झना,
यसै आयो, त्यसै गयो!!

Friday, October 20, 2006

what we see!

We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

पुजा र प्रेम

"म पुजा गर्छु किनकि म भगवानलाई प्रेम गर्छु"
यसमा निकै ठुलो बहस हुन सक्छ
तर
-
मेरो कुरा तेत्ति नै हो।

Sunday, October 15, 2006

20$ bill is a lesson

My friend sent me this piece:

A well known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?" Hands started going up.
He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this." He proceeded to crumple the dollar bill up. He then asked, "Who still wants it?" Still the hands were up in the air.
"Well," he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now all crumpled and dirty. "Now who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air.

"My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. You are special - Don't ever forget it!"

Friday, October 13, 2006

back again...

joined office just today after the dashain break. took almost 1 week off, extra...
works, schedules, and contacts all jumbled up... i hate the feeling when i have to join the work after a leave.
i have to do it nevertheless, and like it as well. [just the inertia of holiday spirit]
...
...
...
am now trying to get into this world... and speed up the work.

...
...
...

but i feel like i have changed my views on the general concept of the rituals and all those proceedings that we follow in our culture... i had [and still have] a deep respect in the rituals.. but somewhere i feel like its a waste... specially some deeds when they are absolutely related to money; when it's measured by how much u show...
i saw it myself in the last rituals of my grandpa...

i think i only believe in devotion and most important of all - love.
love to the religion, love to god...
i think its all about love and nothing else.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

blank blank blank

blank blank blank


blah blah blah


jpt jpt jpt


empty bottle.

Monday, October 02, 2006

vijaya dashami - here it passes away with him!

this dashain... quite sad and boring to me!

i lost my grandfather last saturday. he was fine in the evening... but all of a sudden, he was gone... within the sleep itself - slept for a long long time. he was an asthma patient since long.
- - now that you are gone - - feeling your absense - - missing you old buddy!!
- - now and again i remember those few of the small wishes that u had - which remained incomplete. i m really sorry for those - some day i will take care of them.

..
..
..

thus, this was quite a tasteless and tragic dashain for me. tasteless? literally - yes.

buddy, wherever u r, may u rest in peace.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

यसपालीको दशैं

यसपालीको दशैं,
१० बर्षपछि, घर फर्कदै,
संगसंगै,
यो शान्त हावा र उ

आंखामा तृष्णा
मनमा जिज्ञासा
दौतरीको पाईला

अझै मेटिएको छैन कि?

लोकतन्त्रको हावा
मैले भर्खर साटेर ल्याएको नोटमा
श्रीपेच बिनाको राजाको चित्र
ढोंगमात्रै हो कि?

Monday, September 18, 2006

चिसो कथा

जाउ बरु कहिं चिसो कथा लेख
म यहि छु, तारा केलाउदै
भेटिएला नभेटिएला त्यो,
यो मृगमरीचिका को दौड


त्यहि थियो हिजो
त्यो पथिक थाकेर
अलमल क्षितिजदेखि आसक्त
अनिश्चित गन्तब्य

तातो हावा
मेरो प्यास बुझाउला
तिम्रो बोली
मलाई बिझाउछ

पलपल यो मृगतृष्णा
झलझल यो सम्झना
म कता जाउं, के गरु
यसको उपसंहार के लखुं

Thursday, September 14, 2006

बुद्ध, तिम्रो पुजा त गर्छु!

बाँच्न मन लाग्छ
किनभने
हामी धेरै मर्छौ

हामी उज्यालो चाहन्छौ
किनकि
अंध्यारो हाम्रो गर्भे पृष्ठभूमि हो

हामी मुक्ति खोज्छौ
किनकि
हामी खुलामा बांधिएका छौं

हामी प्रेम चाहन्छौं
किनकि
घृणा मान्छेको कमजोरी हो

उद्धृत नै सही
हामी वर्तमानको शान्त स्पेस चाहन्छौं
किनकि
मानव-ईतिहास द्वन्दको पिरामिड हो

हामी निश्चिन्तता चाहन्छौं
किनकि
भविष्य स्वयम् अनिश्चित छ

हामी अनौपचारिकता चाहन्छौं
किनकि
औपचारिकता मान्छेको जीवनशैली हो

* * * * * * * *

यसैले बुध्द !
म तिम्रो पुजा त गर्छु
तर माफ गर !
तिम्रो अनुसरण गर्न सक्तिन।

राजेश्वर कार्की
“मेरो कविताको अन्तिम पृष्ठ” कविता संग्रहबाट साभार




Sunday, September 10, 2006

do i have a voice?

intermingled thoughts,
series of them,
thousands i feel;
thousands i conemplate

now and again,
dont ask me
about nothing!
i know nothing

Friday, September 08, 2006

Pre-Position

"a child sat on her mother's lap
under a poplar
in a park
a leaf sailed
across the air
and fell down lightly
on her curly hair
she picked it up
and held it in her and
a yellow leaf
dropping off to the ground
what is it, mum
a leaf my dear
l-e-a-f
yes, dear
a gust of wind blew the leaf away
a cloud covered
the sun's face up
there's a leaf on the tree
the child shouted in glee
o, she's showing off the new world
her mother thought
a young green leaf
flamed on the tree
though trees are bare
in cold december"
- Shreedhar Lohani

As cited in a book "Healing Thoughts on Tender Theory" by Arun Gupto.

I liked this poem very much. There are many interpretations and analysis of the poem but the poem itself is also too good.

Sunday, September 03, 2006

u lie, i smile

do u remember the dreams
i fear
it haunts me
when it becomes real sometimes.


do u want to say something
i hear
i dont understand
when u explain me the visible

u lie,
u pretend,
i see,
i smile

amazingly, i wander around
through my conscience; all over this ambiguity
still frozen in my pace
let it be

Monday, August 28, 2006

Photo Gallery of my Nuwakot Trip

Day 1


[Green fields seen from highway]


[View from a Chautari]



[A Water Tap constructed in memory of my friend Sudhan]



[Kids busy making something out of a 'Bhogate', i asked are you making a goat or what? They laughed and said 'Yes']


Day 2



[Early in the morning, i took a one hour walk to the Northern part of the village. Its a more remote area.]


[My trip to Bhorle, Dhading.]

[Early morning view from the village]


[On my way... i am in the either side of the hill, i will be crossing that small river and move up from there towards the right. That steep up walk was hard. I still remember that.]


[My focus is on the rainbow and that brightly lit hill in the left. It was cloudy and raining all day, however we didnt get caught in the rain ]

Day 3
Back to home

[There's nothing special in this photo, but i just like the fog, specially when i can see and feel it move, I like it very much.]



[The image speaks itself]



[You see that road there...., thats the highway, where we have to reach to catch the bus. It was a long way, - - i stood there few seconds watching the road: i was a bit tired.]



[We met some kids when we reached the market. They were returning from school and bathing and fishing in the nearby spring. One kid showed me a small crab which he caught and put in a small bottle.]

And after few mins, we got to the main road. Waited for few mins there before we got a bus to Kathmandu. Had to stand up ... there were demonstrations in Kathmandu and the highways against the petro price hike, so few buses were on the run. Later govt withdrew the price hike decision. I had to walk for half an hour to cross the traffic jam of buses and to get to Kalanki.

Finally got a microbus to my home, as a special service for running the vehicles within the battlefield-like roads, no student concession was provided.

Concludingly,
It was great trip. I look forward for another one.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

where am i once again

once again,
i feel like lost
there within my rhyme
un-composed : un-sung

the rythm i am looking for
i feel it sometimes
within me
audible sometimes, and only sometimes

the revelation
my own saga, my own words,
entangled
i am lost somewhere within them!

Saturday, August 26, 2006

4th dimension

hey hey
i am here,
dont you see!
dont you see at all?

the time,
stands still - around the room
i have no room for myself
the 4th dimension - is static

feels the same,
the mind waves go on
thus - i feel like somnliloquising
all the time.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Thursday, August 17, 2006

म संसार जित्ने आंट गर्दैछु

म संसार जित्ने आंट गर्दैछु
मात्र तिमी मेरो साथ बसिदेउ
भविष्यले अंगाल्ने गीत म गाउदैछु
मात्र तिमी सुरमा ताल मिलाईदेउ
यहि हो अर्थ रच्नुको
ईतिहासमा अमर रहोस

तिम्रो र मेरो कहानी - सधैं सधैं

जब हिड्दा हिड्दै थाक्छु म कहिलेकाही
त्यतिबेला मेरो आड बनि देऊ
जिन्दगिको मोडमा सोच्न सकिन भने
तिम्रो मिठो बिचार मलाई देउ
यहि हो अर्थ भन्नुको
सपना ठुलो छैन
बिलौना गर्न नपरोस् - जिन्दगिमा

सुनौलो हाम्रो भविष्य साकार हुन्छ
मलाइ भरोसा छ
म हरपल तिम्रो रक्षा गर्नेछु
मात्र तिंमी आत्मबल बनिदेउ

भविष्यले गाउने गीत म रच्दैछु
मात्र तिमी सुरमा ताल मिलाईदेउ
यहि हो अर्थ रच्नुको
ईतिहासमा अमर रहोस
तिम्रो र मेरो कहानी - सधैं सधैं

[courtesy: sabin rai]

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Its a revisited world here...

i feel so ... when i gather in the class with the crowd i feel like i am five years back..
thats what i felt today..

time has passed, many things have been changed, now i have only few of the same people with me who used to stay here in these classrooms in those days...
but still i feel them around...

Monday, August 14, 2006

jaya bhole

ॐ शिव ॐ

special worship season for Shivaji for one whole month of Shrawan concluded today. This month is believed to be special and thus it is celebrated with special attention for the entire month.

I also visited Pashupatinath early in the morning, stood in the queue for 2 -3 hrs. Just couldnt satisfy myself without the darshan [however most of the times i just enter the main premise and take few turns and worship for Shivaji in other smaller temples. ]
It was a short cut like the bol bam yatra for me. Early morning, walk to the temple, .... .... etc.Felt good.

The line management was really good and controlled this time, but it was quite absurd to circle the temple through right [Actually its odd]. Stood there and worked as volunteer for few hours.


Feeling tired now. May be i'll walk out for home and take some rest.

Besides, i have to prepare for tomorrow's assessment on Stylistics in Linguistics - i dont know much about it, but i hope i will study for better view. [well... did i mention somewhere that i have joined Masters in English literature recently?] It was quite late, but finally I got a chance from the back door. :)

"Better late than never"

Saturday, August 12, 2006

jpt jindagi

and what i want to add is:

"yo jpt jindagi!"

Sunday, August 06, 2006

friendship day

... and i m here just to express my wishes on this day
to express my gratitude to all : ALL : remembered : almost forgotten : forgotten : seen: unseen and remaining all : friends, who have helped me to create smiles... and made this globe a better place, who knowingly - unknowingly cherished my small world ...

I express my gratitude to those whom i remember all the times and also to those whom i dont remember at all, whom i have mis-understood, with whom i have been misunderstood; whom i have hurt [with all my apologies], ... and who have hurt me [my pleasure :) ]

specially i would like to express my love to SUDHAN : a true friend of mine, whom i miss too much, just more than too much.

... best wishes on this so called Friendship Day.

Friday, August 04, 2006

in your room...

In your room
Where time stands still
Or moves at your will
Will you let the morning come soon
Or will you leave me lying here
In your favourite darkness
Your favourite half-light
Your favourite consciousness
Your favourite slave

In your room
Where souls disappear
Only you exist here
Will you lead me to your armchair
Or leave me lying here
Your favourite innocence
Your favourite prize
Your favourite smile
Your favourite slave

I'm hanging on your words
living on your breath
feeling with your skin
Will I always be here

In your room
Your burning eyes
Cause flames to arise
Will you let the fire die down soon
Or will I always be here
Your favourite passion
Your favourite game
Your favourite mirror
Your favourite slave

I'm hanging on your words
living on your breath
feeling with your skin
Will I always be here

[Song Courtesy : {forgot } DM @ Flickr ]

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

me and you



“I laugh, I love, I hope, I try, I hurt, I need, I fear, I cry.

And I know you do the same things too,

So we're really not that different,

me and you.”

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

what is war?

... and today i found a good quote by Paul Valery:

War: a massacre of people who don't know each other for the profit of people who know each other but don't massacre each other”.
[I think nothing should be explained here.]

Monday, July 31, 2006

make love not war

"BEIRUT: An Israeli air strike on Sunday killed at least 54 civilians, including 34 children, in a town in south Lebanon, marking the deadliest bombing since the conflict began."

"only the dead have seen the end of war"

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Gairi Khet

[Photo Courtesy: Rajesh KC, Kantipur Daily, 29th July]


reverberance : [E = hc / λ]

I feel like surfing in the wave... and like being within a big box of echoes and vibras. the reverberance.
Same old ups and downs...
so thats why here it comes : reverberance and the equation of light. 'Light' bcoz i want to express the nature of sine wave!

But i often think, .. is it what it is supposed to be? [Not only now, but i often think]

today someone [a new character artist in my life.] asked me about life... since i was already in the swing, I said, it’s a wave.. ups and downs. So life is like the light. Ups and Downs -- or rhetorically: bright and dim.

Sometimes i think this is a sick philosophy. Philosophy to justify the deeds, the ongoing 4th dimension elements. Can u avoid it? ... or what?
but avoidance is not an option - not an option at all.
There are other better ways out.. i think there are.. i believe there are.

Well, tell me if u have any thoughts on this.

Saturday, July 29, 2006

this boring saturday

I am here at work, even in this weekend....

so boring...

well, there are a lot of tasks that need to be done, lots of personal issues which need to be fixed... ... pending since a long time, but it so funny i dont have sufficient urge to see those... i guess the time hasnt come yet.

sometimes.... the mood of upcoming weekend is far more better than the actual weekend.

Now dont think about my weekend plans,
I had some plans, some simple ones.. to go out and chill out... but now i dont have mood to go.. so i just cancelled them.

Better take some rest and watch some movies. I actually love to watch movies in TV.. browsing the movie channels and watching some o them.

before i leave, here goes something that i found today, my wallpaper!

[Photo courtesy: DebiantArts]

Saturday, July 15, 2006

जीवनको परिभाषा...

जहाँ सत्य लुकाएर झुठको साथ लिनु पर्छ
जीवनको परिभाषा अभिनयमा दिनु पर्छ
त्यो झुठको जीवनमा हाँस्न नसकिने भो
नाम मात्रको आशामा बाच्न नसकिने भो

Quoted from
जन्मिदा एक्लै मर्दा नि एक्लै
बीचमा किन साथी चाहियो र
साथी साथी भन्दा भन्दै
भनेजस्तो साथीनै कहाँ पाईयो र

जहाँ चोट लाग्दा पनि मन खुलाई रुन सकिन्न
मुटुले कसैको मुटु छुन सकिन्न
त्यहाँ चोटको अर्थ खोज्न नसकिने भो
निराशाको एक्लोपन रोज्न नसकिने भो

जहाँ सत्य लुकाएर झुठको साथ लिनु पर्छ
जीवनको परिभाषा अभिनयमा दिनु पर्छ
त्यो झुठको जीवनमा हाँस्न नसकिने भो
नाम मात्रको आशामा बाच्न नसकिने भो
- कर्णदास

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Be What You Wanna Be

Be What You Wanna Be
I've walked along the edge
I've seen my death
It came before my eyes and blinded by the light
I realized
Too long I've been without
The feeling of alive
Lost inside the fog
I've been
Lost Inside My mind; and I forgot that I am free.
Dancing on the shards
I found pain
I found The feeling of awake
Isn't it serene?
How we can behave?
Our paisley brains numb inside the daze
Can't we be? Can't you be?
Be what you want to be
You can live
Find your reality
Be what you wanna be
Powered by illusions all around
I have made the choice
to find my voice and let it ring throughout the Cave
And end this Happiness in slavery
I won't go down that way.
I will be.
I can be
Be what I wanna be.
I can exist
Within this reality
And be what I want to be.
by: Sarah Fimm [... without consent]

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

party time

This is the party time...

i m having parties all round the week this days....

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

something better next time...

Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting for him.
"Whats the story this time Jones?" he asked sarcastically. "Lets hear a good excuse for a change."
Jones sighed, "Everything went wrong this morning, Boss. The wife decided to drive me to the station. She got ready in 10 minutes, but then the drawbridge got stuck. Rather than let you down, I swan across the river -- look, my suit's still damp -- ran out to the airport, got a ride on Mr Thompson's helicopter, landed on top of Radio City Music Hall, and was carried here piggyback by one of the Rockettes."

"You'll have to do better than that, Jones," said the boss, obviously disappointed. "No woman can get ready in 10 minutes."

[from THT 28th June]

Monday, June 26, 2006

who said i m tired

this is the time when i can do something..

i m planning to increase my working hours..

HAHA

Friday, June 16, 2006

deceived...

i cant say i believe u... nor can i say i believe U [another u].

..

..

..

i dont know who told the truth, but at least i know that I AM DECEIVED.


..


..

..


Thanks for everything.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

how far have i gone....

today, i was having a conversation with my friend. [it was a chat conversation actually, u'll later know why this matters ].

all of a sudden i remembered, few weeks back i found one of my best pencil sketch half eaten by rats. Some time back i had blogged a piece about rats, i hope its not because of that :)
that was a bitter moment. now i cant re-create it. there would be no sense even if i re-worked in the same theme, in the same way. I couldnt do anything, i just kept in a safe place.
Now at the moment i remembered how far i have gone. ... far from myself... far from my self.
I still cant take this as an obvious change, because if it was a change, i wouldnt have missed those days [OR actually days like those].

Well as my friend stated, i m not trying to explain the purpose of our existence, but i can surely think that this is not the best way that we could go with our life. There are a lot of other options that we could choose. and mostly those options are not radio buttons, of course several paradigms could be integrated in one life [look how i m giving examples now]
I am now: Techno stressed... gadgeted.. busy.. worried.. moody..

... Life's too big, human understanding is too big... capable enough to encompass simplest to most complex ideas.

Lets hope, some day, [ and that some day to be coming soon...] i will live that simple life once again.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

fluctuating mood.


fluctuating mood...




undetermined intentions...




jumbled priorities...



sometimes...

... i think this (my life) sucks...


[images from flickr]

Sunday, June 04, 2006

your luck

Take your time and be deliberate. You easily could cause a problem without intending to. The more careful you are, the better the results. Use your words carefully, as feelings, including your own, easily could get hurt.

Take some time off.

You beam. My, we are a force to behold.

Friday, June 02, 2006

if he was here.

today, we walked all the way to khulamanch [sahidmanch] to listen to what the maoist leaders had to say. This was their first public program in Kathmandu after a long time.

Well I wanted to see what they had to say & show!!!
At the end, I wasnt impressed.. at all.

We walked the crowdy way.. most of them seemed to be villagers brought here for the participation. I dont know how much of them came here [rather than brought].

I saw the young people, may be some of them were cadres, fighters. may be some of them were the troubled people themselves.. may be.

In the meantime I remembered Sudhan. I often remember him these days, but today it became so persistent that i couldnt stop writing. We used to be so close friends, so close that i am a part of his family now.

Intelligent and friendly, friendly to the extent that we didnt count our effort or money towards each other.

I wish if he was here, if we could see the turnout together with our eyes, and not only with mine. I even wonder if we could analyze the moments when he took that way... and i why did he go without even informing me. not even me??? But I know, that he knew, if he had told me he wouldn’t be able to leave us… that I wouldn’t let him go.

But he didn’t. played a foul… such a big foul, that it took his life in the penalty. Sometimes I think he did for a good cause, because he wasn’t a violent person, not even a single percent of him. I wonder if his sacrifice would be fruitful… I only wonder… but deep inside, I don’t believe. They were showing a number of people who lost their life in this battle, the battle of brothers! I think whether that count covers my friend also or not!

I wonder if I could hear his say when he was there… I wonder… I wonder…

I miss u, and I cant explain how much, not even my words!!!

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Ode to my friend

here goes his memories.....

i cant explain.....



all i have is memories.

Monday, May 22, 2006

anyways... thinking and re-thinking

is this normal, ... justifying your action all the times,

reasoning, analyzing and concluding.

i am tired, sometimes i do it even before the thing is completed...

disgusting... i overthink. i need to change.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

i had been here, been there... and been everywhere!

i thought it was a new revelation, a lovely beginning... that would revolutionize my world.

... and ..

finally it didnt. Yes it didnt.

so what was it then? a storm, a wrong advice?, hmm or just a bad space-time conjunction : wrong ppl in wrong place in wrong time? May be.

shall we talk about my mistakes, sure. but was there any?
there were some hidden stories, I accept, but those wouldn’t actually interfere with the outcome [as far as I know things]

Finally just for the reference, i would like to quote this piece of lyrics here
ma sapana ko kura garchhu, timi aakha ko mol sodhchheu,
ma dhukdhuki ko bayan garchhu, timi mutuko taul sodhcheu

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

and thats why i took that path

It is a long way now,
When there used to be golden sunsets,
And music in my head all the time,
I used to splash the rain water… scattered in the way

It was a normal beginning, as normal as it could be,
With persevering tell-tales, tell tales of insist,
Encouraging and romantic… like friends do
I always resisted though, till the end, until I broke.

friends, crowd, music, classes, bunks, run,
life, love, ~infatuations~, dumps, cries, beer,
intro, drama, hide & seek, revelations,
slogan, broken glasses, bricked pavements ~broken bricks, fights

can u explain the consequences,
NO!
I guess u cant.
I m sure u cant.

Please don’t hide,
Don’t,
At least the matters, which r the agendas u r going to use,
and when finally I have to decide based upon those!!!






Now,
Overwhelmed…
I live…with rashes,
Trying my best to avoid, or at least sooth ‘em






and,
now u suggest me, explain me, my own story
what do u know?
a tip of an iceberg!!!

a’rite, this is one facet,
of a jumbled up and asymmetrical diamond
its my justification, yes may be just the justification!
But ITS MY LIFE, ITS MINE!!!

Friday, May 12, 2006

Two ways to live your life.

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.


-Einstein.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Aaja ko rashi! Baisakh 2 2063

So what's happening in your life? Give it a little thought. What do you have? What do you want? While you're posing your most innermost of innermost selves these questions, you might notice something. Maybe it's the spring sun shining through the spring storm clouds. Maybe it's beaming down on the itsy bitsy flowers poking their heads out of the earth. Maybe it's a scent in the air. Whatever tips you off, your hunch is right: It's a time for new beginnings.


--

Nice, lets rock and roll.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Computer Gaming

I m not much of a gamer, but once I played this game, 'Western Outlaws'. It was nice in a sense it seemed like real. I had to spend significant time reloading the bullets, as if i was reloading a real gun. And the time was mostly spent on hiding reloading and making time calculations.

And no God mode, no Unlimited ammo.
It was really interesting. It was the only game that i played till the end.
I really enjoyed it.
But like a kid i m fond of NFS2. It's interesting to play and now i have the cracks and some codes which give me some interesing cars to drive. My fav is McLauren. Its interestingly fast. and the track is Snow path in Nepal.
Its tough and fun to run.

Btw, just yesterday, after a long time, i played Midtown Madness. It was a fun too. In the LAN and with friends. Findng gold, searching running away.....
It was fun also because i was playing with my friends and not any computer vehicles.


It was nice.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Meaning of Deza Vu

He was walking out of his office in the evening. He stops just infront of the main entrance for a second. Suddenly a metallic sign-board drops off the building and bangs on his head.
... passes out.... wakes up in a hospital bed... recalls the entire incident, it was the chrismas eve.. and he had messed it up.
...
the nurse gives some injection to make him sleep...

...
he wakes up from the bed, his wife, lying aside, talks about the chrismas eve plans. ?? yes chrismas eve ??
.. he usually goes to office and continues his work,
.. at the end of the office hours, he once again caughts himself in an accident.. and once again faints..

...wakes up in the same hospital bed, accompanied by the same nurse.
...the nurse gives him same injection, and once again he is asleep...
...when he wakes up, again the same thing... chrismas eve..

..
..
..

this continues for few days, and one day the nurse tells that he has 12 chances to make it. To change his behaviour in a decent what so that he is loved by everyone... and only then he would make it to chrismas... otherwise this process will be increasing.

.. he tries ... and finally succeeds ..........
[Well, thats the end of the story, but the my point starts from here.]

... but what i want to say is what is Deza Vu.

A chance? yes a chance to change the way u live.

.. well now just assume that this real day is also a deza vu. You are getting a chance to modify the way u live the life... [ only u can't correct if mistaken]

Thats what i felt.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Surgery.... and back

I just got my appendix surgery last wednesday. The pain was interesing. [what can i say except that?]

Sometimes it feels amazing how someone just cut you through and took out an organ out of you.... and you are walking back again.


Now getting better.......... and trying to walk straight.

Monday, March 20, 2006

e lingered' pain..

we both knew very clearly.. it is impossible for us to meet [melt] up again.. well, i wud nt say it is totally impossible.. but it is jus very not possible.. [no diff la]
for wad i can say, i can jus say dat from e bottom of my heart, i wish u well.. in evrything..

i tell myself nt to cry again.. becus i knew u had moved on.. so mus i.. living in memories wun do ani better.. it is jus a half-wriiten story.. becus one of e author died halfway thru.. so e story could no longer continue........ [and e one who die is me.. let me be e one to leave... ]
i realli donno wad dat was 4..

i wudnt ask..

wudnt guess..

wudnt think..

becus i no longer belief it could be like i tht.. i am realli tired.. very sick of all those stupid things... those justifications... makin me constipate evrytime i think.. no doubt..helpless.. i swear i am.. thinkin abt everythin.. i realli feel helpless...


:(

Friday, March 17, 2006

leaving ebPearls

I was damn confused thinking about resigning the office. It messed my sleep for few nights. So tense moments, confusing and perplexed. It is my first office. and i have learnt a lot here.

What i find as my assets, :: The friends and the colleagues cirle. Its so cool to be in the group here. So friendly and so enjoyable.


.

.


.


When i recollect the reasons that compelled me to move, i find none. But what about the reasons that encouraged me to do so.... I find some significant ones...actually i get a list of reasons when i compare these two worlds.

So what was that all about? ... Money? I guess not [although it is also]. Others.. hmm, yes time was a factor

Finally for my justification,
Someone showed me a animated gif images which resembled the nature of software engineers who moved from one office to another in significantly short time period. And then I thought it was normal.
[I will definitely post that image here soon]

...

...


...


...


...

Do u think 'freedom' counts as a reason?

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Trouble with the rat race...

I was browsing the quote feeds that day, and found a nice one. Dont know the source but it seems nice and inspiring.

May be its the habit created by exams... I m tempted to explain things. Explaining is not bad when you are interested,(specially when the listener is interested) but it doesnt happen always.

OK lets just keep it as it is:

"The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat."

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Work and Exams together.

This has been a really tiresome time for me.
It used to be late returns and lots of works. Yes this continued since one year back. But this time, exams is also there.

So... study also needs to be managed within the same 24hrs. I m finding myself quite busy and tired. Specially when responsibility is increased in the workplace.

Its ok though, thats how it needs to be. I have no strong opposition with whats going on. But regarding some issues there really are problems. I'll talk about them later.

Hmm..
But this much for now.
Need to walk half an hr to home, this cold night and that silent deserted road.

Remembering the warm bed.......... here i go.